Into the wild

I needed a break for a few days. Out of the city. Out of my everyday life. Away from all the dark energy, all the crappy people at work, all the stress, all the hatred and the pain. I just needed a time out. I wanted to be alone for a few days. Only me and myself. And i wanted a challenge too. I wanted something back, i used to have as a child. I am talking about the connection with nature and with the mountains. I am talking about the feeling called freedom. Everything was so easy back then. And i just wanted it back for a short period of time. To remember myself that not everything is bad. To find my inner peace again. To clear my mind.
Today i tell you about my trip into the wild. About my thoughts, my feelings, my experiences and what i found out. Why am i writing in english?! Yeah, i get to it very soon. :-)

I started my 3 day journey in the surrounding of Fladnitz a.d. Teichalm. I picked it, because i was impressed of the pictures i saw during my research and i wanted a place not too far away from vienna, cause i didn’t want to sit that long in my car, rather enjoy my time in the mountains. When i entered the nice valley, i already felt the good energy here. The air was beyond good, you could smell fresh grass and the view was simply amazing.

On my first day i drove to a place called „Bärenschutzklamm“. Due to pictures i expected a nice but intense walk through the klamm, with some possibilities to fill up my water and rest some time at a nice cabin in the woods.

In the beginning i was all thinking about home, work, the problems i left behind. As i got more into my tour, my mind calmed down a bit. I tried to focus on the moment. Tried to enjoy the landscape and the nature. I started looking around, looked into the forrest if  I can spot any animal or something interesting. Even it was a very intense hike, i felt good, i was motivated, i was happy. Yeah, i really was happy. Just to be here. To do this. Doing something i missed. With every step forward, memories came back. Memories from earlier days in my life. Good memories. I smiled.

After finishing my walk uphill through the klamm, i came to a nice cabin. A lot of people where there, having food and drinks. I took a break too. Had some water. And then there was this guy. I saw him in the klamm before. He looked a little lost. So i asked him if he needs any help. I translated the austrian dishes as best as i could. He had Gulasch! He joined me at my table. His name was Noah. He was from Hong Kong. Travelling through Austria. We had a little chat about ordinary things. Smalltalk!
After some time i went on. I told him, my plan is to reach the next peak, wait a little and go all the way back down then. I didn’t thought i will see him again…

On my way up to the peak at 1.750 meters i struggled. A lot. There was this moment, i stopped walking and looked back. Turned around and looked up again. For a few seconds it felt easier to turn around and go back. To stop my journey here. To end it.
But giving up was never my thing. I was never the guy to just quit. So i fought and went on. It was hard. So many thoughts came to my mind. About quitting, about my sports, about life. You should always keep walking, no matter how hard it gets. You never know what awaits you at the top.
And guys, it was totally worth it. The view was awesome. A 360 panorama over the entire area. When i arrived, i was alone. It was quiet. I enjoyed the silence for a moment. Just me and nothing else! Great feeling! With time more and more people arrived. There was not much space, so it got a little crowded. I was ready to leave and then i saw Noah making his last steps towards the peak. Never thought he would make it, cause it was a really challenging way up. Was good to see him again :-)

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We had a little rest and spent the next 4 hours together, making our way back to where we started. We talked about everything. And i mean everything. We talked about life, about why we are here and doing this hike, about finding our purpose on this planet and me finding answers to some questions i had. I found out he also played american football, he likes the same tv series i do and he is somehow lost like i am.
We had a really good time, we laughed a lot, we learned from each other, and we enriched the others life for a few hours. My best friend used to say „the best talks in life, are the ones you have with a total stranger“…that might be true after all! I spent the whole day talking english, and that is the reason why i am writing in english today. I started thinking in english and i wanted Noah to read what i have to say. So this is for you my friend!!!

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On the next day i started early. I wanted to embrace the day from the beginning. And i had plans. Big plans. Like a 10 hour round walk over 7 or more peaks. I knew what would come, and i was prepared. I never felt better prepared like this day.
It  started heavy. Rain, wind and a way straight up a hill, that felt never ending. I remembered the day before. But something was different today. I was more focused. I wanted it, never thought of stopping or going back. And i made it in no time. I’ve been rewarded with a place so quiet you could only hear the wind blowing. It was simply amazing. I sat down, had lunch and enjoyed just being alone. Is this it?! Is this what freedom feels like?! Is this everything i ever needed?! My mind was clear, it was calm and it was positive. So i walked on…

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For the next 7 hours so many things came across my mind. So many positive things. I remember this point, i was halfway through my tour. I looked back what i already had behind me and looked in the other direction to see what is yet to come. It was a good feeling to see that i achieved so much already, alone, only with a strong mind and my strong pair of legs. I think at a certain point in life you also reach the point, where you look back, and see what you’ve already achieved, what good things you did and what goals you already reached. And you should always be proud. I was proud. That despite all the doubts i have, i already made it far, and yet i am only at the beginning.
But i also look forward to what lies ahead. Whatever comes, i am ready. I will master all the problems and i will reach all the goals i set myself. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but i will get there. Slowly and steady. I will make progression, be better everyday. I need to work a lot in order to do so, but i know i have it in me, i know that with a clear and strong mind, i can do almost everything i want.
This day and this tour reminded me that after every low, there comes a high again. Don’t get too depressed on the lows and don’t get too comfortable on the highs. Keep going, never lose the goal out of sight and i promise you will make it. No matter what.

I am a fighter. Always was, always will be. And so i made it back to my car again. I was exhausted, tired, my legs sore, my water bottle empty, but my mind was clear. It felt, like it was never more clear than on this day. The problems far gone. The anger somewhere deep down.

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But that’s the problem all along. You can not outrun your problems. You have to face them. You have to talk about them. You have to tackle them. Otherwise they will haunt you, they will rise in your mind again and they will try to bring you down. But when you have a strong mind and you are not afraid of facing your problems and issues, you can make it through it, and leave all your problems solved behind you. And grow with all the challenges in your life. You can start enjoying life fully and live it that way you always wanted. Free.

I needed those few days outdoor. I realized how easy it can be, to clear my mind, to be more happy and stopped being self-pitying. I have it in my own hands. Only i decide how my life is going, i lead the way, i have to take the next step and this time, i went into the wild.

Yours Flo

PS.: The last photos are from my stop at Grüner See on my way back home. It was a really nice place, but little too crowded with tourists on this sunny sunday. But you should go there some time.
And also some photos of the place where i stayed for 2 nights. A place where you can calm down, relax and enjoy this nice place on earth.

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